this was a triumph
See here for the rather talented creator. (Thanks Matt for the link)
Archive for random
The cake is a lie
If you haven’t played Portal, or at least watched video for the final credits, you probably won’t get how amazing this is.
If you have, and you do, you’re in for a treat.
doggy poo
Every so often a character enters the realm of popular culture and quickly becomes unforgetable.
An instant classic. This is the story of nature’s most unlikely hero.
Doggy Poo.
No seriously. Its a real film. Watch this trailer for it.
And you know something, I probably would watch it. Like if it were on. At some point.
Little People
I saw this on YouTube today.
“Inside and out, they are truly extraordinary humans…”
How about this, Inside and out, they are truly merciless killing machines. Yeah, that sounds better I think.
The best game system in the world?
A lot of the people I know have Xbox 360s. One is even thinking about getting a Playstation 3. Now, thats all fine and good, but honestly, I think I’ve found the next step up.
I don’t just want some £400 console to wow me with great graphics.
I want it to do this.
I mean, come on, IT MAKES YOU FLY.
IT MAKES YOU FLY.
I bet your xbox 360 or playstation 3 doesn’t do that. I mean check out the controller. Non of those messy analogue sticks here. This is for hardcore GAMERZ. They even replaced the playstation controller on the box with their own version. And its got 6 buttons.
Yeah take that playstation owners. Its even got a protective case for to shield itself when in use. How many other consoles can boast that?
I mean, DAMN. That looks hot. It would really finish off my front room.
Seriously, I’d sell my tv for one of these.
Comments off
How to Write Good
Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:
- Avoid alliteration. Always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
- Employ the vernacular.
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren’t necessary.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- One should never generalize.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
- Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
- Don’t be redundant; don’t more use words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
- Profanity sucks.
- Be more or less specific.
- Understatement is always best.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.
- In a sentence, the nouns has to match the verbs.
- Don’t use no double negatives.
- In writing, few things are, so to speak, more infuriating, than, say, commas, at least when there are too many of them, or when they should be, say, semicolons.
- Proofread your work, so you don’t leave some out or forget to finish the
- Run-on sentences are really bad because the reader saturates and what you really should be doing is using commas and semicolons and even periods to break the sentence up into more digestible chunks.
- To have been using excessively complex verb constructions, is to have been bopping the literary baloney.
- A friend I spoken with recently told me he been forgetting his helper verbs.
A 10 Step Guide for Job Interviews
Interviewing for a new job can be trying. As a newcomer to the job market, I’ve decided to compile a list of the strategies I employed during my successful interview process. This list is designed to help you avoid the pitfalls of interviewing. When using these strategies, it’s important to utilize them organically and naturally—you’ve got to make it work for you.
1. Arrive early.
Show up at least 10-15 hours prior to the interview and concentrate on how badly you need the position. Do some simple calisthenics and ingest large amounts of caffeine—this will get that internal fire blazing. When the interviewer breezes in, christen him/her with a pet name. Pet names often promote a feeling of camaraderie and can establish an instant rapport. Clue in on physical shortcomings. Some helpful examples are: Uncle Bulbous, Baby Hair, Bucktooth, and Bozo.
2. Dress to impress.
Sure, you’ve got the résumé, skills, knowledge, and experience, but don’t forget: We’re all just animals, so physical appearance means a lot! You’ll want to make the best possible “first impression.” As a rule of thumb, you can’t be too formal. A simple black tuxedo with cummerbund is sufficient, but a top hat, a cane, a monocle, and spats complete the look. If you find that you are a chick, wear one of those Japanese dress things or anything “revealing.”
3. Take them off their game.
To undermine their “home-turf” confidence, employ a few simple tricks to give yourself that winning edge. Stare directly at hairlines when speaking (this will provide you the advantage!). Instead of the boring old “firm handshake,” you’ll want to start off with a light leg lock or arm bar. Maintain positive eye contact. If they need to blink, allow them to do so—one eye at a time. Stand with your load-bearing leg one half step behind your leading leg, with your weight resting on the balls of your feet. This gives you defensive leverage to repel oncoming attacks.
4. Brag a little!
Your mindset should be that you’d be a fantastic addition to the company, so recount some of your proudest anecdotes. Tell stories of bravery, ingenuity, and integrity. Don’t hesitate to lie. Try to mix in small amounts of truth in your stories to make them sound more plausible. Bluff that you have documented proof and defy them to question you.
5. Be dynamic.
Prospective employers are looking for employees capable of acting decisively in new situations. Display your ability to act decisively by punching through a wall, or forcing someone into a footrace. When speaking, make sure to scream.
6. Manage personal space.
Getting extremely close to someone is a great form of intimidation. Intimidation helps you to force your will upon others. If you’re unsure about how close you should be, apply the “raspberry rule”—stick your tongue out; you should be able to taste the skin of anyone you’re speaking to; if not, take two (2) large steps toward that person. Some people find that fondling or caressing helps demonstrate a “hands-on” approach, though this generally works better for physically imposing interviewees. If you’re of smaller stature, tiny, concealable weapons will ensure you’re taken seriously.
7. Inspect the work environment.
Remember, the job-interview process is a two-way street. They are interviewing you, but you’re also assessing the work environment for personal suitability. Inspect for facility safety, and assess employee quality-of-life. Watch out for: sallow complexions, live electrical wires, excessively bony knees and ankles, dangerous murderers, swollen epiglottises and/or the HIV/AIDS virus. Remember, it’s better to take the time and do your research now—most of today’s successful businesspeople aren’t dead-ass corpses.
8. Creep around.
When no one is looking.
9. Get paid.
Even if you’re not hired for the position, you still deserve to be paid for the time and effort you’ve put into the interview process. If the company’s policy doesn’t cover you, see what the interviewer has on him.
10. Be tenacious.
On your way back from the interview, call to determine whether you’ve been hired for the position. If they haven’t decided to hire you, don’t take no for an answer. Keep calling and obtain the personal information of several different employees.
- – - -
The interviews of the 21st century aren’t like yesteryear’s staid and sissy evaluations of qualifications, job competency, and interpersonal-communication skills. By employing these strategies, you’ll demonstrate to any prospective employer that you’re the kind of “go-getter” that can succeed and excel in today’s fast-paced world. Remember: Above all, just be yourself—as long as “yourself” is a fake version of you without your vices or personality.
